People often feel comfortable asking me questions about lesbian sex.
It happens everywhere from cocktail parties to riding around in
New York City taxis. As a sex positive person and porn mogul,
I think it's really important to have discussions about lesbian sex.
Some lesbians are really annoyed to have to field these types of
questions, but I feel that having an open mind and an open ear
helps to make people outside of the gay community understand
us better.So, get ready to be schooled! I promise it's the most fun
learning you'll have all day.
1 Question: What exactly do you two do?
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Answer: The ways we have sex are as varied as straight couples.
I'd argue that the sex we have is actually better, because there's
not the looming issue of a hard-on and how the hard-on will be
serviced. Women are also capable of multiple orgasms, so there
is little to no recovery time. We have oral sex, anal sex,
penetrative sex and everything in between.
2 Question: Is one of you "the man"?
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Answer: This question is always hilarious to me, because it
shows how deeply ingrained strict gender roles are. Sometime
s there are more masculine women or queer folks who like to
be in control, but not always. It all comes down to personal
preference, honestly. And not just that one of us is always
"a top" and the other "a bottom"... we often switch roles,
sometimes during the middle of the same sex session.
3 Question: Is it easier since you're both
women and know instinctively what the
other likes?
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Answer: God, I wish. No, no and no. Just like hetero people,
it takes us gay ladies a while to figure out what we like. I had
absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing for a good year or
so after I started sleeping with women. It wasn't until I met my
first girlfriend that I really started to understand how profoundly
mind-blowing sex with a woman can be.
4 Question: Do you always use a strap-on?
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Answer: No. Again, it depends on the couple, but for me, it's a sort of
"special occasion" thing. I also really like to receive anal sex, so I like
to have a strap-on penetrate me there, because it feels nice. Some women
or queer folks like to incorporate strap-on sex more regularly. Sometimes
we role-play and take on a more masculine character, and, for other people
, a masculine role feels generally more comfortable for them.
5) Question: If you like women, why would you
have sex with a girl who looks like a boy?
Why not just date a man?
Louis Debenham via Getty Images
Answer: Because men are men. As a lesbian, I'm attracted to the parts
and mind of a woman. Men don't have boobs (well, they do,
but they are not developed). I have a very hard time connecting on
an emotional level with men. I can have friends that are dudes, but
falling in love was tough, because I just don't relate to men in the sam
e way. We don't "click." Also, even with more masculine looking men
or queer folks, there is still a feeling of difference from the norm, and
that feels right for many of us.
6 Question: If I want to kiss a girl, does that make Me a lesbian?
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Answer: Not necessarily. Our culture places way too much
importance on labels. Maybe you are gay, maybe you aren't
. I hope we get to the point in history where it no longer
Question: I saw that movie
"Blue is the Warmest Color".
Is that really how you girls have sex?
Answer: I've been getting this question a lot lately. The answer is yes and no. Lots oflesbians are pissed off about the portrayal of lesbian sex. Some say that the sex is too "porn-ish" and an example of the "male fantasy of lesbian sex". I thought the movie was hot. For me, it was an accurate representation. I like rough sex. I like anal. I can go on and on for a long time. I didn't understand all the hoopla about it being fake . Apparently a lot of women are having different sex than I do.
8 Question: I keep hearing about "scissoring."
What is that?
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Answer: My friend, film director, Jodi Savitz wrote a great
piece about it, so instead of me paraphrasing,
I suggest you just go an read it here.
9 Question: What is fisting?
Dvougao via Getty Images
Answer: I wrote an entire column about fisting, so here is the link to go and read it. The column gives a lot of detail.
10
Question: Are you hitting on me?
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Answer: Maybe. Are you hot? If so, then I probably am.
11
Question: If I have a "friend" who wants
to hook up with a girl... um... how would
I tell her a way to make that happen?
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Answer: I also wrote two different columns on how and
where to meet women. The first one is about online dating and finding love or a one-night stand.
The second one is about how to meet women in the real world.
My main piece of advice for women who, as Andy Cohen
loves to say, want to "take a dip in the lady pond", just be honest.
No one wants to be a science experiment, but many lesbians
and queer people don't mind about a woman's sexual identity.
Have fun, kiddo!
If you have any other questions that you want to be answered,
hit me up on Twitter!
Well, many of the girls will deny. But seriously, most of them want you to have money, car, own house and stable finances.They are not mean. They need a man being able to support them and their future family.
Yes, it sounds crap. It is still true. So if you want to impress a girl have at least the impression that you will be able to provide her good circumstances for raising a family.
It comes deep from human nature and it's about the same age as humankind.
Attractive body helps, too. But the main thing: Be (or at least look) confident.
So if they try to trick you and want you to believe that only you have the dirty fantasy tell them they are wrong. Most of the time they like to be the "hunter".
Unless your date starts talking about that. Many people are thinking about that but when they hear it from the other they get discussed. Weird but keep it low. There are some girls out are even willing to have sex on first date without talking about it. :)
Did you know that women have the ability to experience eleven different forms of an orgasm? Imagine being the type of sexual lover that knows more about a woman’s body than she does. How many women know about this intense and pleasurable subject? Not many.
And we have found hundreds of women asking this same exact question. The point is, you are not the only one who is clueless in bed, and greater communication and attention for your partner’s needs will only boost her endorphins.
Simply put: she will want to do more for you as well.
We have never entertained the idea of asking a man this question; most men are honored if they have the knowledge that a woman is capable of having a orgasm at all. But of course, there exists a modest group who can claim knowledge to these esoteric methods. We know because we have learned from them. The vast majority of the male species is ignorant about their feminine bed-lusts. And the sad fact is that they are okay with this.
So what is the origin of this issue? The answer is basic, and coincidentally unexpected: men harbor an intense fear of feminine sexuality in our society.
The majority of women are only aware of two orgasms that their bodies can encounter (whether or not they have ever experienced them is another thing), and, unfortunately, this even holds true in the post-Feminist community. Ladies, looks like you’ve been cheating yourselves.
I will explain to you how this came about. You have taken back many of your rights, but you have mixed liberation with hostility.
Metrosexuality has become a fashionable word. But in fact, there are not many men available to teach women about the miracle known as the female body. Tearing men away from their masculinity has been a great success – it is great for the economy. However, women are missing out on quite a lot.
A small portion of men are good sexual lovers. Ask any woman and she will confirm this. Becoming a sexpert starts from knowing how to please her, especially knowing how to give her an orgasm. This requires going a little deeper and finding out the different ways that a woman can orgasm.
Add some love and awareness to the world of relationships and sexuality. Love dissolves fear; awareness dissolves ignorance. Let’s start with the one orgasm you probably know:
1. The Clitoral Orgasm
This orgasm results from direct contact with the clitoris. Strong feelings stem from the clitoris and send pleasurable waves throughout a woman’s entire body. A woman’s clitoris is the most sensitive area on her body – with twice as many stimulatory nerve endings as the male penis. If you are a guy, picture all of the nerve endings in the penis compacted into an area as tiny as a marble. The clitoris is so important to receiving pleasure that feelings of arousal are always felt there on some degree. That is why the clitoris is so responsive to different kinds of touch.
Although, it’s not equal for all women. The clitoris’s sensitivity can be completely opposite from woman to woman. There are the women that may prefer a lighter touch. Other women get enjoyment from a more intense stimulation. And for a portion of women, the clitoris is so delicate that contacting the clit directly is often not comfortable and can sometimes be aggravating.
After an orgasm, the clit often becomes extremely sensitive, to the point where physical contact could be painful. As a good sexual partner, you must be aware of this and grant a woman some minutes of rest before going at it again.
This kind of female orgasm can be done in a few different variations: There is oral stimulation. Ladies, if your partner is not aware of how to perform oral sex on women, still let your partner do it for you. But guide him as you would guide Stevie Wonder driving an eighteen wheeler on a dark New York City street. When using your hand, be sure to use her own natural lubrication, or a water-based lubricant. With sex toys, use lubrication as well.
A clitoral orgasm can be very intense, but many women describe it as “less deep” than others. Nevertheless, it is extremely pleasurable, and good clitoral stimulation adds much to the stagnant sex life.
2. The Vaginal Orgasm
This kind of female orgasm concerns the vaginal walls, and remains focused in either the pelvic or lower stomach areas. It can also spread upward and out depending on the intensity of the experience. The uterus, pelvic muscles, and sometimes the anus will start to contract. These contractions are strong and may even push out anything stimulating the vagina.
This kind of orgasm takes a bit of time to reach, and rhythmic thrusting is often the best way to get there. A great sexual partner will communicate with their woman to figure out which position is best for her to achieve an orgasm. And a great will partner will also try not to ejaculate before she does: “Ladies always come first.”
A good deal of women describe it to be “less intense” than clitoral stimulation, however, they do feel it a bit more “deeply.” This orgasm is felt as a pressure that slowly grows and explodes from deep inside the vagina.
3. The G-Spot Orgasm
This orgasm starts in the G-Spot and can stay there while climaxing, or it will intensely rush throughout the entire female body. When a woman is sexually aroused, the tissue around her will urethra becomes filled with blood from her paraurethral glands that produce and fill with prostatic fluid. This area on the front wall of the vagina is that same mysterious and sensitive spot: the G-Spot.
The process is actually similar to a male erection. And, a result, the urethral sponge becomes “erect.” If you touch it, it feels firm. In other words, this is a female “boner.” The only thing separating the two is that, for women, it all happens on the inside of the vagina. There are a few ways to stimulate a woman’s G-Spot. Rhythmic pushing or circular friction motions are the best for reaching this type of orgasm. Try using a special Tantric sensual massage – it tends to stimulate this section of a female’s body. This orgasm will often lead to female ejaculation.
This kind of female orgasm takes a good amount time to build up to, and many women say that it is a special, deep, intense carnal pleasure, that builds up until their whole lower abdomen and pelvic area explodes. And they are often carried away for a decent amount of time by the strong rush of euphoric energy – often fully unconscious of where they are and what is happening around them.
4. Squirting Orgasm (Female Ejaculation)
In short, this powerful orgasm is achieved by using ancient Tantric techniques. It exercises unwanted emotions and fills a woman with light, delightful energy and a feeling of happiness and peace. Squirting makes other kinds of female orgasms look meek in comparison.
This type of orgasm causes a deep bond to form between a woman and her partner. This has to be the most sensual thing a woman can experience with you.
5. The A–Spot Orgasm (The Anterior Fornix Orgasm)
This kind orgasm is reached by stimulating an area far deep in the vagina (about 7-10 cm, or 3-4”) on the front wall – the same exact wall where the G-spot is located. In other words, this is a section of delicate tissue at the inner front end of the vaginal tube, in between the cervix and the bladder.
This orgasm is most easily achieved using your hand. Use the same technique you use to stimulate the G-Spot, but in this case, go as deep as your fingers can reach. You simply just try to “scoop it out” with your fingers – a “come hither” motion. In the basic missionary position, a man should be short-thrusting while deep inside a woman during sexual intercourse.
Many women find the feeling incredibly pleasurable while others do not like it at all, so be sure to keep this in mind.
After orgasming, the A-Spot does not become sensitive like the clitoris, and you can easily continue stimulation, bringing women to new levels of pleasure. Again, communication is the key here, so make sure to ask her if she is enjoying what you are doing.
This orgasm is described by women as a type of soft burst of electricity bringing them to a sharp, erotic climax. Some women find this orgasm similar to the G-spot, while some find it closer to an extremely strong vaginal orgasm. Either way, your partner will be excited about the fact that you even know about this.
6. The Deep Spot Orgasm (The Posterior Fornix Orgasm)
This king of orgasm is reached by stimulating the section of the vagina that is positioned at the deepest part of the back wall, right before the cervix.
Direct stimulation of the deep spot will cause intense orgasms. Some ladies compare it to having anal sex. When this orgasm is performed it gives off excited responses like: “This is the first time I have ever felt like this,” or, “Wow! What’s going on!” This particular section of the vagina is not well known, so not many women have not been able to experience it. This kind of female orgasm can also be performed by using the fingers, also using “come hither” motions. Use both deep and shallow strokes, and you can even use two fingers if you’d like.
Note: First ask the woman what she feels when you touch her cervix – some women love it and others completely hate it.
7. The U-Spot Orgasm
This type of female orgasm results from stimulation along a small area of erectile tissue located just above and on either side of the urethral opening – a small section of skin in between the urethra and the vagina. If this region is gently stroked with the finger, the tongue, or the tip of the penis, there will be a powerful erotic response.
Any woman can experience any of the above listed female orgasms. However, a few more orgasms are not so common. They are:
8. The Breast Orgasm
This type of orgasm happens during a peak of stimulation toward the breasts. A woman’s nipples are connected to nerve endings in the female genitals, and a large amount of women experience a direct connection with their clitoris when their nipples are stimulated.
Many women feel increased sexual excitement when their nipples are stimulated. However, not all women can experience the breast orgasm, so this mainly depends on the sensitivity of her nipples.
9. The Oral Orgasm
This orgasm can be experienced by women who are very sensitive orally. The mouth plays a huge role in a human’s sexual nervous system. This is the reason that kissing causes arousal in both men and women. The mouth orgasm can take place during any intimate activity done orally such as kissing, licking, sucking, or performing oral sex.
It has been described by women as a feeling beginning in their lips and then rushing from the mouth to the genitals, followed by the rest of her body.
10. The Skin Orgasm
This orgasm can come about by sensually rubbing certain areas of female body that are not directly in connection with the sexual nervous system. Examples include orgasms experienced by many women during the typical massage session, face treatments at the cosmetologist, and so on.
11. The Mental Orgasm
This kind of female orgasm can happen during visual and auditory stimulation. Examples of such stimulation are movies, videos, sexual behavior exhibited in front of others, and sexually-charged talk during foreplay. Women become so turned on that they can actually experience an orgasm from excitement alone.
Lorand Gelner via Getty Images
Answer: The ways we have sex are as varied as straight couples.giphy
Answer: This question is always hilarious to me, because itshutterstock
Answer: God, I wish. No, no and no. Just like hetero people,giphy
Answer: No. Again, it depends on the couple, but for me, it's a sort ofLouis Debenham via Getty Images
Answer: Because men are men. As a lesbian, I'm attracted to the partsgiphy
Answer: Not necessarily. Our culture places way too muchgiphy
Answer: My friend, film director, Jodi Savitz wrote a greatDvougao via Getty Images
Answer: I wrote an entire column about fisting,giphy
Answer: Maybe. Are you hot? If so, then I probably am.giphy
Answer: I also wrote two different columns on how and
